Coming Out – Before Getting the Job
Coming Out – Before getting the job (resume & interview)
A unique challenge LGBT people have is, letting others know or not know that you are LGBT. While there is the hard topic of coming out to those closest to you, there is also the struggle on when to come out prior to getting a job. If you are to the point of asking if you should come out then you are most likely in the right mindset (not set one way or another), but knowing the person and company on the other side is equally if not more important. Remember, sometimes to feed our-selves or to accomplish our life goals, with a heavy heart, we go back into the closet to make some cash to get ahead in life. There is no shame with going into the closet to get ahead. Do what is best for you, just do not persecute other gays to get ahead.
Because coming out can hurt/help your chances of getting the job, careful considerations must be taken. Some companies actively try to recruit a diverse workforce and a “Gay Resume” may help you stand out in a good way. While sadly in a large portions of employers coming out in a resume or interview may have you stand out in a negative way. You cannot easily change a un-gay-friendly employer from the outside get the job you need, before you worry about changing the world. It is always easier to come out prior to getting the job if you are gainfully employed at the time of application (great way to find a good fit).
Things to do before applying for a job:
– Join one LGBT association which is obviously an LGBT association. It is normally best to join an association which pertains to your job. I joined the National LGBT Bar Association. This is the resume marker you will put on your resume when you want to come out. Some professional LGBT associations also have LGBT job fares and is a great way to find employers who want LGBT people.
– Do volunteer work which pertains to your future job. Use this as a resume booster and when you get the HR questions of failure pull an example from here. If pressed for an example of failure on the job just state you have made all major failures during volunteering. I did some legal work for an indigent population.
– Do volunteer work for a children disease charity. Aside from wanting to help kids and hating on disease, you are doing this as a talking point to relate to even the most difficult to relate to people. Everyone has a soft part in their heart for sick kids. Helping to organize a relay for life is a good one.
Considerations about the future employer (stereotypes/statistics are your friend):
The employer and the interviewer need to match up for it to be a safer bet to come out before a job offer. If you are currently employed and just looking for a better fit, coming out on a job interview with HR might make sense to see if the fit is right.
– Employers with a published non-discrimination policy which includes your circumstance. Normally these tend to be the most progressive employers. Resume Tip: These employers in geographically friendly areas were the only employers I sent my “Gay Resume”. For example, a large law firm in San Francisco with a non-discrimination policy which includes sexual orientation.
– Where geographically is the employer. An employer located in Miami would statistically be more excepting than an employer in rural Alabama. Avoid coming out in the bible belt their tiny brains do not understand you and never will. The only thing most of their brains can hold are catch phrases from Fox News and their ilk. Leave them to their own hillbilly devises, your life is too short to fight every fight (don’t fight stupid). Resume tip: Don’t come out on the resume even if a corporate policy exists. The person making the hiring decision most likely has the view point consistent with the location. Don’t risk your job on the thought that a person will put corporate policy above their personal beliefs.
– The age of the interviewer. Older people are less excepting of gays in general. Young people tend to be more excepting.
– Religiousness of your interviewer. If the interviewer is playing church music, wearing crosses, and the office is adorned with various religious knickknacks. They might cling to religion too much for their brain to think of profit and doing the best for the company. Interview tip: Stay on topic of business. If the interviewer goes off topic to personal questions, hit them with the childhood disease charity work.
While being true to yourself will allow you to be much happier, a little unhappiness to live on to fight the good fight another day may be worth it. You can always come out later if you have the job. Later might be shortly after when you notice the culture is accepting, or later could be when you are a manager and want to change the culture. Either way, being closeted at work does not define you. You are a wonderful multifaceted person.
Share your closet/coming out interview stories.
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